you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
