I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
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