can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
