The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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