so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
