David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
