Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
