I think im going to throw up on grandma
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
