Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
