After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize