i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
