I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
