I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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