I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
