I feel like abortions should bother me more
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
