Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
