Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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