I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
