I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
