Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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