a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
