Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
