nut hugger
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
