I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
