I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
