Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Michael Bay diarrhea
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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