I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
