Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
