i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
