Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
