Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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