He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
