Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
