it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
