how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
