Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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