I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
