News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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