Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
