he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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