would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
