Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
