For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
