I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
