dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm too high and old for this...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
