i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she told me i tasted like america
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
