Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
