how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
