Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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