Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
