In the future we'll all be gay
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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