Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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