Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
