I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
