she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
