Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
