erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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