i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
