There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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