Screwed.edu
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
