yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
