Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize