Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
