you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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