Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
