Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it's like iHOP with fire
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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