I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
