i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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