in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
