Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
3pm strippers are depressing
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
