he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You're a waste of cheezeits
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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