her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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